First things first: I’m a future teacher here. I think it’s so important for elementary level teachers to feel comfortable with math, and make sure that their students don’t suffer from internalized math anxiety. A lot of the time, it’s because someone at some point decided to say, “Maybe math just isn’t your thing.” Typically, this doesn’t really help any child, or anyone, because now they have it in their head that they just aren’t ever going to be good at this one thing.
Working in a school, I already feel pretty comfortable giving a math lesson, especially after learning so much about teaching math in my graduate program.
BUT HEY NEWS FLASH I totally have that internalized math anxiety. Easy math problems sometimes become difficult when they need to be done in a hurry in front of a crowd. I didn’t take math my senior year of high school because my school didn’t require it, and I took statistics in college (which wasn’t really my favorite…) Back in middle school, I was struggling, and I had math labs a couple times a week. Part of it was I needed to play catch up for two years from moving towns, but I also always had a hard time wrapping my mind around some of the concepts.
Well, I’m set to take a college level math exam soon in place of a course for my program. I’ve been studying daily, for a few hours a day, and I’m feeling a little terrified. I have this pressure on me where I really need to pass. Through studying, I’ve learned so much I didn’t know before, and I know it will only make me a better teacher. However, I still have the voice in the back of my head that always says “Remember: you’re not good at math.”
And, honestly, how ridiculous is that? I’m not “good” at math? That’s not how math works. Some may have a natural ability with numbers, but it’s all very straight forward once you’ve been taught how to do it. It’s getting past my frustration in not understanding the first time. I already passed the Praxis II, including the math portion, so I’m hoping that’s a good sign.
Going through this also gives me a relate-ability to my students – because, sure, multiplying fractions is easy for me. I’ve been doing it a long time! But I can also understand why that might look more complex to a fifth grader.
Basically: I’m really nervous for this test – and it’s sorta taking a lot for me to publicly admit that? Fingers crossed, everyone.
EDIT: I PASSED!!!!
